Synastric astrology is a method for studying partnership dynamics and compatibility. We overlay two natal charts and observe their interplay: which houses the partner’s planets fall into, what aspects they form with each other. Synastry can reveal the character of the relationship between two partners, points of connection, sharp angles, and harmonious zones.
One of the revelations of synastric astrology is that relationships between two people are never equal in the primitive sense of the word. Each partner activates certain parts of our own chart, while we in turn activate certain parts of the other’s personality. And this mutual process is profoundly asymmetrical.
For example, if one partner’s Moon is in synastric conjunction with the other’s Jupiter, this may mean that one expresses care (Moon), which in turn expands and enhances the possibilities and social status of the other (Jupiter).
However, this does not mean the aspect will be mirrored in the opposite direction. It may turn out that one partner nurtures, supports, and helps the other, but the benefits of this help are received by only one side. Moreover, it is entirely possible that the first partner’s Jupiter is in tense aspects with the second partner’s planets: then initiative and persistence may actually hinder the other from expanding their own possibilities and achieving success.
What This Means
Ideally, every partnership is given to us for the realization of a certain mission: the working through of our own qualities and the assistance in working through the qualities of our partner. Therefore, the asymmetry of relationships is both normal and logical. Each partner, using their strong sides, helps to develop the weak sides of the other.
In practice, however, this creates a problem. Typically (and astrologers know this well!), people perceive the uniqueness of their partner in a very limited and mental way. On substantial matters, it often seems to them that the other person shares their worldview, values, and modalities. Thus, the asymmetry of relationships is perceived as extremely painful. Guided by the principle of “I give to you — you give to me,” people rarely go deeper into the details of what exactly is being exchanged. If I have strong Water but weak Earth, and I give you emotional care, then you must — so I expect — give me emotional care in return. The fact that you help me cover my weak Earth and solve practical matters does not concern me.
What to Do
In short: recognize this asymmetry and play your role well. Appreciate your partner and trust the Cosmos.
In detail:
First, recognizing this asymmetry is very difficult. It requires abandoning the primitive idea of equality in relationships. One must accept the possibility that one of us may give more than the other. This calls for immense inner work.
Second, it is necessary to understand oneself clearly: your core modalities, qualities, and talents — what you truly can give your partner, and what you simply do not possess.
Third, you must be able to see, understand, and acknowledge your partner in all their facets, including those parts of their personality you would rather not see.
Fourth, you need to understand the mission of your partnership. Every partnership is conditioned by karmic ties and has its own tasks. “If the stars are lit, it means someone needs it”: if our worlds are joined with another’s, there is a reason behind it.
As a result, relationships become harmonious, strengthening one another…
The Hidden Enemy — The Collective Subconscious
Recognizing the true balance of relationships is complicated by the fact that the collective subconscious has its own views on partnerships and their mission. It transmits these views through family, education systems, and mass culture: many of our assumptions and ideas about relationships are first absorbed in childhood and later reinforced by romantic films, novels, glossy magazines (and now, by bloggers and influencers).
Most people begin to unravel the deeper essence of relationships only when they face a crisis in partnership. Provided, of course, that they have reached a sufficiently high evolutionary level and are ready for constructive work (in astrological terms: ready to work through their 7th House). This is why it is so important to separate yourself from the collective and to discover what truly matters to you.
